Freed by 50

One of my stated goals for 2023 is to get serious about my health. Early in the year someone I worked with died suddenly, and three people in my life received cancer diagnosis’. It was a bit of a wakeup call for me to really look at the way I’m treating my body. Yes, I work out almost daily and I am fairly active, but it’s really the inputs that count, and I was definitely drinking and snacking way too much.

It has been years since I truly committed to a diet, but I’ve learned a few things in the decade since I last made a focused change to what I’m consuming. I will always forgo complexity for simplicity. The main problem I’ve had with things like Keto dieting is that everything you eat tends to be a production. If you don’t buy prepackaged food specifically for Keto, you have to create meals or snacks by counting carbs and calories, checking protein content, making sure there’s the right amount of fiber, etc. It’s not for me. I also learned that I respond well to a high protein diet. I often find myself snacking because I don’t feel full. Consuming 200+ grams of protein in a day will curb that real quick. I also don’t like buying specialized food because I don’t see it as something I would ever do long term, and my kids would just eat it.

I made the decision to try two weeks of the Carnivore diet. If you’re not familiar with this particular diet, it’s basically the opposite of going vegan. You have to concern yourself with two things: 1- Are you hungry? and 2- Is the food meat? If you answer no to either question, don’t eat it. If you answer yes to both, eat it. This is a gross oversimplification, but that’s the gist of it. The diet focuses on a very high protein intake from only animal sources. It does allow for some slightly processed foods, such as greek yogurt and hard cheeses, but they’re meant to be used sparingly.

This is the simplicity I need. I don’t have to buy anything special, except maybe a few more pieces of meat we already buy. We don’t have to cook two meals or bulk cook special food for just me. I already have everything I need easily at hand and even snacks can be simplified to simply meat, cheese or yogurt.

Many people stay on this diet for a very long time. After just one week of this I can’t see how people with no real medical need to be on a super restrictive diet get any enjoyment out of life. I had considered doing this for a month, but I’m pretty sure I’ll stick with my plan to do the carnivore diet for two weeks and then switch to more of a simplified Keto diet. Still heavy on meat, but I want to taste vegetables and starch once in a while…or just have something crunchy! For the love of God I want something crunchy!

As with most diets, the first day of the Carnivore diet was a breeze. It was actually pretty fun. I started my day with ham and eggs. For lunch I cooked a whole London broil, which I had for both lunch and dinner along with some chicken breast. Overall it was a fine day.

Day two I expected to be lethargic. Eliminating carbs as a quick source of energy will take a toll on your energy levels as your body switches over to burning fat for energy. But I felt fine so I ran three miles before breakfast as I tend to do on Tuesdays. I was starving by the time I had my steak and eggs for breakfast. For lunch I had roast beef rollups, which is to say roast beef cold cuts wrapped around some cheddar cheese. Dinner was a big piece of pork chop. That night I got hungry around 8 PM, so I had a few pieces of beef jerky, which is sneaky high in carbs, but I stayed well within limits of still being a carnivore.

Day three was again back to ham and hard boiled eggs for breakfast. By now, my body had realized something was different and started converting food into an unpleasant bathroom experience. That’s all I’m going to say about that. I didn’t (and still haven’t) get stomach cramps or anything, but my digestive system clearly wasn’t pleased with the change. This is something that’s common on the Carnivore diet and doesn’t really go away. Lunch was more of my London broil with a side of BBQ shrimp, and dinner was sausage, which seems to me to be borderline acceptable, but it was zero carb so I let it slide. That night I started to feel a little off.

Day four was the full on Keto flu. I was lethargic, I couldn’t focus and kept grasping for words just out of reach while on calls. I was a little cold everywhere I went, and I kept getting headaches. While my water intake was more than enough for this diet, a friend told me to increase my salt intake for a couple of days. This seemed to help and the “flu” had passed by day five. My family had left for the day, so I was on my own to make meals. I’d consumed the last of my London broil on day three, so breakfast was bacon and eggs. For lunch I had BBQ chicken wings, which were seasoned to perfection if I must say, and cooked another London broil. Dinner was leftover shrimp and some roast turkey breast. Day four was a Thursday and it was a rough day at work. I had a couple of tough situations come up, and the leader of my department announced her retirement. I hadn’t considered having a drink until Thursday night. Since it was beautiful outside and I was already having a cigar on the patio I decided one, carefully measured, vodka soda might be welcome. It wasn’t. Halfway through I remembered I hate vodka soda. Also my head was swimming and not in a fun drunk way, more in a “somebody spun me too fast” kind of way. For about an hour I felt awful.

Day five was Friday, and we order dinner most Friday’s. With that in mind I started the day with plain Greek yogurt and two hard boiled eggs. I did a light resistance workout. I had skipped working out altogether on Thursday. For lunch I had BBQ chicken wings again (they were just so damn good!) with more roast turkey. Dinner was a large helping of sashimi, which honestly isn’t much different than my usual sushi order, but I did miss having a roll with it. By now I was craving flavors. I don’t know how to describe it, but I had a couple of sips of my wife’s wonton soup broth and had to stop myself from devouring it like a zombie eating brains. No matter how you slice it (te he) meat is meat. It’s dense, it’s chewy, you can flavor it different ways, but it’s still meat and it largely tastes the same. Alone it’s boring. I got over it, but this made me realize why a month on this diet was almost out of the question.

Day six, Saturday, movie night. Every Saturday night my kids get to watch a movie in the theater in our basement. We fire up the popcorn machine and the whole basement smells of fresh popped buttery popcorn. Once again, people that force themselves into super restrictive diets must be miserable. My mouth literally watered for nearly two hours while I watched my family enjoy sensibly seasoned, otherwise fairly healthy, popcorn. It doesn’t matter what I ate all day, suffice it to say it was meat in large quantities three times. I wanted some goddamn popcorn! This made me revisit the drinking thing. I decided I could try one small glass of bourbon to get me through the craving. It was much more successful than my day four attempt, and I chased it with another glass. Now I know drinking on a diet is frowned upon. Reading the Carnivore literature, it’s not just frowned upon, they universally agree that alcohol is poison, you’ll get sick, and you will die (I added that last bit). I get it. I really do, and I want to be good and healthy and all the things, but I also have to be realistic. A super restrictive diet with no concessions is going to result in the participant eventually snapping and binging. I have news for you, I also drank the next day.

Day seven was the weigh in. I needed a morale boost and I had planned to weigh myself three times during this diet anyway. Once at the beginning, once on day seven and once on day 14. I woke up excited for this, but also a little scared. If I’d only lost one or two pounds I would probably freak out and quit. I’m not ashamed to admit I stepped on the scale with my eyes closed. I lost eight pounds. Now I’m not trying to fool myself, I’m aware that the lion’s share of it was water weight, but some of it had to be fat. I had to bring my belt in one hole tighter on day seven and it wasn’t uncomfortable. At this point I was no longer thinking about my meals. I coordinate dinner with my wife in the morning (3.5 pieces of sausage in this case) and make sure I’m sticking to the code of the Carnivore for the other two meals. For lunch I had ham rollups, which is pretty lean, and then set out to do about two hours of light yardwork. I was really run down by dinner time. This is likely because I didn’t eat nearly enough for lunch, and little to no fat, which my body is now burning for fuel. I was also ravenous and had a snack of pepperoni and mozzarella cheese. As mentioned, the wife and I had a couple of drinks once the kids were in bed to say goodbye to Spring Break.

Today marks day eight. My second week of the Carnivore diet begins today. It’s now a countdown to Sunday night and the final weigh in. Today was also leg day. I did a full workout and plan to do so every day of the week. I was a bit rundown after the workout, but a breakfast of eggs and leftover sausage picked me back up (although invoked several trips to the little boy’s room). I’ll have my last package of chicken wings for lunch, probably with a Greek yogurt. I’ll stare longingly at the bananas the whole time.

I think this week will be easier. I’m past the Keto flu and most cravings have subsided, although I’d kill for a handful of honey roasted peanuts (oh the CRUNCH!). My energy level is back to normal and I’m not getting headaches. I know when to ingest a little more fat for an energy boost. I’m actually considering cutting out lunch for a few days as I’m not generally hungry midday if I eat a properly sized breakfast. The quick hit with weight loss was nice, but I’d like to see more of a physical change by next week, namely to the front part of my torso. I know that will come with the next level of weight loss, which is the hard part. I had said I wanted to lose 20 pounds at the start of 2023 and I aim to do it, but do it in a healthy way while creating better habits. That means after I reintroduce more vegetables and carbohydrates I need to be conscious of it and continue to not snack (or snack on MEAT!). This two weeks of Carnivore diet was always meant just to jumpstart my diet and get me moving. And look at that, I’m already halfway through day eight. Six and a half more days to go!